Is Their Online Dating Profile a Fake?

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Most singles these days have forayed into the world of online dating, at least once or twice. We have either given it a try, then decide we’re up for the “numbers game,” or that we are better suited to the traditional methods of meeting the opposite sex.

Photo By/Copyright: Adam Larsen.

Unfortunately, dating websites are no longer just a place for nice single people to meet. They are a haven for Internet Criminals, people with other ill intent, and the “boogeymen” of today – just like the ones who we used to imagine under our childhood beds. Instead of grabbing us at the ankles if we get out of bed at night, these monsters lurk in World Wide Web shadows, waiting to access an open heart as a path directly to our wallets.

Of course, not all online profiles are of scam artists. Most are folks just like you and me. So, when you are an online dater, how can you really tell that the individuals contacting you (or vice versa) are real people, displaying the truth that is their life?

There are some quick red flags which indicate the profile may be a phony:

• All of their profile photos are “professional.” Is the hot guy or gorgeous girl “too hot?” Is he or she manicured to the nines and stiffly posing in typical model poses? Do they have pancake makeup on (as indicated by excessively even coloration of the skin)? Is your girl or guy absolutely catalog-perfect, every single hair in place, clothing immaculate, positioning camera-ready? If so, they may be a fake. Look for a mix of great photos with candid shots of the same person. If there are no candids, who is this individual? If they are real, yet offer only pro photos, they might just have a problem with ego and insecurity, anyway.
• Their listed age is “on the nines” or the “sixes.” In other words, they are not listed as 37, but as 39 or 36. Many, many people lie about their age. They generally do this due to lack of self-esteem or to attract much younger matches. Always question the actual age, versus the one shown. Simply play the innocent, “How old are you, again?” There are honest souls out there, but for some reason this is a major tipping point for those who exercise creative math.
• Their profile location is close to you, but their grammar is not “of the area.” If your guy from Philly writes with British spelling, ask some key questions about places or cultural aspects with which you both should be familiar. If the boy from Philly hasn’t ever indulged in a Pat’s or Geno’s Cheesesteak (or can’t talk about his reason for not trying one), something might be up.
• Another grammatical indicator (aren’t you glad you took those English classes in college) is if their perfect syntax and usage in the body of their profile doesn’t match their emails. If the beautiful girlie described her love of “indulging in the finer things in life” in her intro, but her emails read, “You da bomb, baby,” or are in very broken English, you probably have a phony in your inbox. Watch their writing style, to ensure it matches the actual profile.
  
• The guy looks great, he seems local…but, you note “the man I seek” or “he should be strong” in his body text (and you are – for certain – in the heterosexual realm of dating services). This likely means the text is cut and pasted to build multiple fake profiles. The scam “artist” simply forgot – or didn’t know – to substitute the female wants with male ones, to match that sexy macho photo. The same is true for female profiles seeking things like, “a most beautiful, long-haired vixen.” Oh, those lazy scammers! Of course, if he is new to your home country and trying to learn the language, cut him a break. Those pesky pronouns can be a real pain to learn quickly! Again, keep your eyes on their emails, comparing it to the style and voice of the profile. If heterosexual, the dude should say he is seeking a girl, and the girl should be seeking a boy, right?
• They ask to call you, then do so from many different phone numbers (a different number each time). This is a ploy used by Nigerian scammers, in particular. They buy prepaid cell phones, as those numbers are virtually impossible to trace to the owner. The numbers may vary from US-based area codes, to European and African country codes. Speak only to those within your country, if you give out your number, at all. If you do decide to give out your number, they should be able to provide a consistent one, too. If you are extremely uncomfortable with giving out your private info (as you should always be wary, at least), then purchase your own prepaid cellular phone to use just for those initial conversations with online daters. You can provide your real number, after trust is solidly assured.
• Their screen name reads like a license plate. This is a little tricky, as all screen names are pretty cheesy. But, watch for a pattern that we noted with Nigerian scammers in particular: They like to use phrases of passion, mixed with numbers instead of words. A favorite of theirs is the number “4″. For example, “mandy4love,” “crazy4urkiss.” Also note if the user name doesn’t quite make sense in English, such as “mandy4lovefire.” This is a real example, one of the Nigerian scammers who contacted us. “Love fire” is their unknowing way of trying to translate the word “passion.” They just got it wrong. No American really walks around saying, “Geez, I crave that love-fire.” If numbers are used in their screen name, or if the words don’t mix well, simply ask the meaning behind the name.
  
• Excessive use of the word “baby” in correspondence with you. If you haven’t met, and they’re already at “baby,” you should immediately progress to “goodbye.” This is also frequently employed by the Nigerians, to draw in lonely souls. Whether or not they are a scammer, they should respect you enough to not famliarize their language so quickly. If “baby” and “love” flow too quickly and frequently, ignore their contacts altogether.
  
• You ask of their religion or spirituality, and the typed answer is “GOD” in all capitals. We noted that the Nigerian scammers we corresponded with used all capitals when answering this question, as if they were yelling the answer. At first, they were very hesitant to reply. When pushed, these were always the results. If “GOD” is the answer, inquire further into the finer points of their identity (just use it as a red flag to raise more questions).
• They push the story, names, and photos of their supposed children on you, too quickly. Ask yourself this: “As a parent, would I be using my children to sell myself?” Most parents would go to great lengths to protect their children from knowing of their dating adventures, and the child’s identity is generally shielded. If the family divorce story and child’s photos come out too quickly, you might need to consider why the child is being presented so blatantly.
  
• Your online romancer sends rambling emails purporting love and involvement of the heart from the very beginning, in the name of “poetry.” If the poems or phrases don’t makes sense per the situation and dialogue, your love is likely a fraud. The Nigerian scammers use this cut and paste method frequently. If your slow-typing dude suddenly turns into Robert Browning on steroids, back away from the prose.
  
• They ask to meet you in a chat room. For us, this always led one of two directions: to instant requests of nude photos, or to “cut and pasting” of text passages by the scammer. Again, the Nigerians use chat services to draw your heart in, and to paste their pre-written responses. They like to avoid direct questions by you, and prefer to fill the space with fake “poems” to make you imagine them as really courting you. The solution for this is simple: Don’t correspond in chat rooms or by instant messenger services. There are many dark corners in there, and your sweetie-to-be should be able to pick up a phone!

The list is long for red flags signaling your online love interest’s ultimately fraudulent objectives. Although utilization of dating sites is relatively new for scam artists (the past decade), the lonely heart has always been an open door for bottom-feeders and criminals to access your pocketbook. To remain safe, simply be aware of the details in their profile, ask many questions, give out little personal identifying information, and exercise caution until you know enough about them that you are comfortable with fuller disclosure about yourself. Finally, always ensure such disclosures are equal between you, and when all else fails your satisfaction about their legitimacy, just say, “Goodbye!”

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Always report questionable online dating profiles to the service moderators. There is most often a “report this profile” link on singles’ websites. If you believe you are being scammed, or are corresponding with a scammer, fill out a Federal Bureau of Investigations Internet Crime Form at www.iC3.gov. It only takes a few minutes, and the more info you can provide, the quicker they can catch these heartless criminals!

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